Yesterday I posted a new episode of Flaws Are The New Black , something I haven’t done since November. Why the lapse in posting? I don’t know. Maybe the holidays got in the way. Maybe I was too busy with work. Maybe I had nothing to say. (Yeah, right.) In all honesty I think what happened is I got exhausted and needed a break physically and emotionally. I needed some time off to remember why I started FATNB to begin with. And now that I’ve had a break and refreshed my memory, I’m back, renewed, re-energized, and ready to celebrate my – and your – perfectly imperfect self.
And oh yes, I am imperfect. I mean, I hang out with this guy all day. And I talk to him. Shhh. Tell no one.
Stay perfectly imperfect, peeps. I’ll be in touch! S. xoxo
came out of the theater, we all agreed: the film was a waste of money, a waste
of time, and a waste of energy.”
People, particularly presidents of countries, cult leaders, and motivational speakers, use it frequently in speeches made to huge crowds. In this scenario it usually works well, gets folks on board, riled up, ready to drink the Kool-Aid.
Other people, like parents, also use it in speeches, sometimes very loud speeches, made to their offspring. In this scenario it has about a 50/50 chance of getting the desired result unless you parent as I do, with the occasional threat of bodily harm or, worse, the cancelation of somebody’s cell phone service. I know, threatening is not a politically correct parenting tactic but from my perspective it works, as evidenced by the disappearance of the small, crawling pests that used to shop my kid’s room like a Costco.
Often though, repetition is simply proof that the writer has never been properly introduced to a thesaurus. (It’s also proof that the writer doesn’t read, but I’ll beat that drum another day.)
Speaking of repetition, repeat after me: Thesaurus.com is your friend and Powerthesaurus.com is your best friend.
I don’t know how anyone – professional writers, business people, students – anyone, writes without consulting Thesaurus.com or Powerthesaurus.com. They’re always open on my computer, as are Google and Urban Dictionary, and I use them constantly.
Let’s say I’m writing about the menu at a restaurant, and let’s say it’s a five-star restaurant. How many times can I use the word food before the reader faints from boredom? Once. Maybe twice. People, I implore you, think. It’s a five-star restaurant. It doesn’t serve food. It serves cuisine, fare, a rare treat for your taste buds, gastronomic delights, died-and-gone-to-Heaven deliciousness.
What would you rather eat – food, or died-and-gone-to-Heaven deliciousness? That’s right: died-and-gone-to-Heaven deliciousness. And your reader would, too.
Repetition, when used properly, is a powerful tool.
Repetition, when used because you’re too lazy to crack open a thesaurus and find new, fun, interesting, cool, thought-provoking, exciting synonyms is a sure fire way to put your reader to sleep.
It’s been one of those weeks. One of those weeks that starts off fine and then takes a nosedive so unexpected and painful you can’t sleep and you can’t think straight. You can’t tolerate food but wine, wine is more welcome than ever. You keep your glass filled and your phone charged as you talk over and over and over again with your closest confidantes. They all say the same thing. They use different words but it’s the same advice. You know they’re right. But you don’t want them to be right. All you want is to hit the refresh button and go back a week.
Someone once said. “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer.” I used to like that quote. Now I’m not so sure.
This week’s episode of Flaws Are The New Black is about the pitfalls of comparison. Maybe you’ve heard the expression, “comparison is the thief of joy” and maybe you haven’t. But I’m here to tell you, it is. When we compare ourselves or our lives to others’, we suffer. When we compare our current selves to our past selves, we suffer as well. Just look at this teary pic of me feeling bad for myself because I don’t look like the photo on either of my book jackets any more. Oy vey, Susan. Knock it off!
The trick to ending this suffering is throwing out every single solitary photo of myself. I’m kidding. I plan to burn them.
No, the trick is GRATITUDE. I need to be grateful for the fact that I’m awake, alive, safe, healthy. (Maybe not mentally healthy but hey, you can’t have everything.) I need to be grateful that I have two incredible sons, friends and family who love me, work I enjoy, and yummy wine to drink at night.
Aging sucks but it’s better than the alternative. Comparison sucks too because it makes me ask myself, “how bad could the alternative to aging really be?”
Comparison sucks us down the rabbit hole. Gratitude takes our hand and pulls us out. I hope you’ll watch the episode. It’s called Comparison is a Killer. Worse yet, it makes you cry!