Have you ever set aside time to work on a big project only to have a colleague burst into your office the moment you start to dig in and say, “Hey! Have you got time for a quick meeting?” I’m willing to bet you have. I have. And what I want to know is, what did you say? For more, click here.
The fact is, there are so few things over which we have control. Beyond decisions like where to live, type of career to pursue, whether to see the glass as half full or half empty – because, indeed that is a choice – there are very few things over which we have real control. Control is an illusion, one that impedes resilience and results in our suffering. Better to acknowledge that reality, let go of the need to control, and move forward with confidence and courage. To continue this discussion, click here. Thanks!
Brene Brown, the international best-selling author, TED Talk queen, and shame researcher, is spot on when it comes to vulnerability. But before I go into that, let’s all take a moment to react to the word “vulnerability.” Join me, will you?
Eeeeek! Being vulnerable? So not doing that! Put myself out there? I’d rather put pins in my eyes! Open myself up to judgement, share my “stuff”? Oh no. Not happening. I shall keep my shit to myself, thank you very much!
I’m right, right? That’s where we go when we hear the word vulnerability. I recall watching Brene Brown’s TED Talk on the topic with my hands over my eyes, peeking through my fingers. That’s how freaked out I was. But I watched, and watched again. And here’s the bottom line about being vulnerable: it is the key to moving forward to joy, to true happiness.
But first, the hard part. We have to dig deep, listen to what our body is telling us, and look for the clues to why we feel a certain way or are suffering inertia in some aspect of our life. Scary stuff, I know. I’m a master at putting my head in the sand. But ignoring whatever is stopping you from moving forward in your life doesn’t make “it” go away. It makes it worse.
So first, you dig deep. Don’t set up camp down there or anything, just look and acknowledge and accept. Have tissues, because the final part of that sentence is “and cry.” Then muster up all your courage, hit the store for more tissues and several bottles of wine, and share your discoveries with the person or people you trust most in the world, and only those people. At first your tribe, aka the people you trust most in the world, could be a little surprised, maybe scared. (Eek! She’s being vulnerable! Quick, where are those pins for my eyes???) But because they’re your tribe, that stuff passes in an instant, and then there’s nothing but listening, support, and love, and being absolutely blown away by your courage.
Any time we have the courage to pull the monster out from under the bed, hold that sucker up to the light and see it for what it really is, we begin to heal, get stronger, put that beast in perspective, free ourselves from its grip, and move forward.
And when we have the courage to do that in the company of those we love and trust? We give the gift of courage to them, too.
Nice right? It ain’t easy, but nothing really worth doing ever is.