‘Twas the day before Christmas break, and all through this place

Presents are hidden in every weird space.

Boxes tucked in cabinets, bags under the sink

Will my guys seek them out there? They’re men, what do you think?

Some hiding spots are so good, all I can say,

Is I hope I recall them after a little Cabernet.

‘Cause Lord knows it’ll be me, late Christmas Eve night

Putting gifts under the tree, while my three men sleep tight.

With my wine glass and my flashlight, and my longshoreman’s mouth

Saying, “How the fuck could I lose stuff in such a small house?!”

Eventually I’ll get done, and go up to bed

And discover my pillow, tucked under Tug’s head.

Yes, it’s the day before Christmas break and frankly I’m glad.

Hope your holiday and your New Year is the best you ever had!