On Advice

It’s been one of those weeks. One of those weeks that starts off fine and then takes a nosedive so unexpected and painful you can’t sleep and you can’t think straight. You can’t tolerate food but wine, wine is more welcome than ever. You keep your glass filled and your phone charged as you talk over and over and over again with your closest confidantes. They all say the same thing. They use different words but it’s the same advice. You know they’re right. But you don’t want them to be right. All you want is to hit the refresh button and go back a week.

Someone once said. “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer.” I used to like that quote. Now I’m not so sure.

Comparison is the thief of joy

This week’s episode of Flaws Are The New Black is about the pitfalls of comparison. Maybe you’ve heard the expression, “comparison is the thief of joy” and maybe you haven’t. But I’m here to tell you, it is. When we compare ourselves or our lives to others’, we suffer. When we compare our current selves to our past selves, we suffer as well. Just look at this teary pic of me feeling bad for myself because I don’t look like the photo on either of my book jackets any more. Oy vey, Susan. Knock it off!

The trick to ending this suffering is throwing out every single solitary photo of myself. I’m kidding. I plan to burn them.

No, the trick is GRATITUDE. I need to be grateful for the fact that I’m awake, alive, safe, healthy. (Maybe not mentally healthy but hey, you can’t have everything.) I need to be grateful that I have two incredible sons, friends and family who love me, work I enjoy, and yummy wine to drink at night.

Aging sucks but it’s better than the alternative. Comparison sucks too because it makes me ask myself, “how bad could the alternative to aging really be?” 

Comparison sucks us down the rabbit hole. Gratitude takes our hand and pulls us out. I hope you’ll watch the episode. It’s called Comparison is a Killer. Worse yet, it makes you cry!

Love,

Susan

Speaking of autism…

Autism News You Can Use, the YouTube program I launched a few months ago in conjunction with Flaws Are The New Black, now has its own channel. This is bad, because all of you who subscribed to Flaws will no longer get to see it, but good because you can subscribe to it separately and you should!

Subscribe/watch here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv2slTwBFUjCNm3xNWmUvJA

I was telling someone recently why I launched Autism News You Can Use and honestly, it’s not just because of my son or to help my son. It’s because I never want another parent to spend as many hours (hundreds of hours!) as I have on the Internet researching how to help their kid. Getting online, Googling forever, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have been blessed to have the time to Google and Google and Google some more, and to find some really great needles in the endless haystacks of information. But other parents don’t have that time and they need all the resources they can get. I started Autism News You Can Use in order to share what I’ve found  – and continue to find – in an effort to make other parents’ lives easier.

If you know someone who can benefit from the resources available on Autism News You Can Use, I hope you’ll share the link above with them.

Love,

Susan

 

 

 

 

Coffee Before Fuel Is Cool. Reverse It, and You Might Regret It

Certain Cars + Diesel = Disaster. 

Sleepily, she slips in her debit card, punches in her zip code and hits enter. Then she looks down to select super-premium or sort-of-super premium or whatever the heck the hundred bucks a gallon gas her BMW demands is called, but she can’t find it.

Hmm. That’s weird.

She lifts the bright green handle. Maybe the super-premium or sort-of-super premium is underneath it? It’s not. She looks around. None of the other drivers out in the early morning drizzle appear to be having trouble with their pumps.

Maybe this one only has one kind? she wonders and then looks – really looks – at the bright green sign with the white writing and it registers. Oh dear God, it’s DIESEL!  She grabs the nozzle that she’s thisclose to plunging into her gas tank, shoves it back into place on the pump, replaces her gas cap, and slinks into her car wondering if anyone’s been watching her stupidity.

And then she drives off, vowing from then on to get coffee before getting gas. Because clearly she’s incapable of doing one without the other.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY. THAT HAPPENED TO A FRIEND. AND SHE WANTED ME TO SHARE IT. NICE OF HER, HUH?