Why do I keep this stuff? Not the skin creams and pore fillers and primer, I know why I keep those (and keep my fingers crossed when I use them). Not the makeup. I know I have to keep — and use — that lest I scare the entire world (not to mention myself) silly. But the barettes and hair bands. Why have I kept them? I have short hair, for God’s sake. The sparkly barrette below makes me look like I’ve lost half my tiara and all of my mind,

barette

and this hair band makes me look like a post-menopausal Pebbles. Can you even imagine how fast Bam Bam would bolt? (And check out those dark bags. Poor Pebbles has really gone to pot.)hair rubber band

I haven’t held onto this stuff because I want my hair long again. I don’t. Going from short to long is best left to gorgeous “kids” like Kaley Cuoco (who’s short “do” I adored). At my age less is more. Shorter is better. Napping is a necessity.

And taking selfies in a room lit with anything but a 40 watt bulb should be against the law.