I count my blessings as soon as I wake up. And I start with the fact that I’m awake. That’s a biggie.

Anyway, after I’m like, “Yay! Another day!” I move on to being thankful for my health. Despite having to take 400mg of Ibuprofen before I work out and 400mg after to combat the pain from the whole spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease thing I have happening, my health is excellent. And you know what they say: If you have your health, you have everything. Well, you probably don’t have everything. I’m willing to bet you don’t have a Ferrari or ten million dollars or the Hope diamond. But still. Since you’re walking and talking and fit enough to bitch about not having any of those things, you’re ahead of the game.

Once I’ve thanked God for making bad bones my biggest health concern (because let’s face it people, it could be cancer, or MS, or ALS, or something else terrifying and terminal), I go on to thank Him for my husband and our beautiful home. For my sons, my parents, and the incredible group of girlfriends I’m blessed with. I also give thanks for piping hot, light, sweet coffee, and wine. Always wine. And let me not forget Excedrin. I’m very thankful for Excedrin, especially when there’s been a little too much wine.

I’m thankful for other things, too. Dozens of crazy, silly, quirky things I think of during the day. These are just a few of them.

1. My husband’s cooking, and the fact that I’m so nearsighted I can’t see the scale.

2. That my sons have no plans to join the Islamic State. They’ll just continue their reign of terror here at home.

3. Hot flashes. Sounds crazy, but it’s nice to think something about me is still smokin’.

4. People who don’t believe how old I am. I’ll bet they can’t see their scales, either.

5. My ability to read music. And these days it says, “For the love of God, please don’t touch the piano!”

6. My utterly fearless, über high-energy husband. And any day the man needs a nap.

7. The “As Seen On TV” aisle in my pharmacy. Because sometimes only pants that come in a box can make a girl feel better.

8. The fact that I haven’t lost my parents. I misplace them occasionally, but they always turn up.

9. Air conditioning. Because this girl can only be smokin’ for so long.

10. My anti-anxiety medication. I worry every day I’ll forget to take it. Then I take it, and worry because I can’t remember if I took it. Clearly, I’m at risk of an overdose

or early onset dementia, both of which beat the hell out of cancer. And for that I’m thankful.