So, whatever you want to do, just do it. Making a fool of yourself is absolutely essential. – Gloria Steinem
Am I making a fool of myself? Since launching my blog in 2006 and sharing every funny, unfunny, silly, sometimes super stupid thought that crossed my mind, I have never once wondered if I was making a fool of myself. In fact, I didn’t care of I was making a fool of myself. When people asked why I shared as openly as I did (and still do), I said, if I’m feeling this way or going through this thing, someone else is, too, and I want them to know they’re not alone.
The point is, I didn’t question what I had to say. And these days I find myself longing for those days.
These days, when I sit down to write or vlog, I find myself wondering if I’ve overstayed my welcome, if it’s asking too much of people like you, who’ve been on this ride with me for so long, to join me for yet another incarnation of myself.
I’ve always been a firm believer in second, third, and fourth acts, in pursuing what makes us passionate. But for the first time ever, I’m wondering if I’m making a fool of myself.
Of course by tomorrow or next week, I’ll probably be back to not giving a hoot if I’m embarrassing myself. I’ll be back to my usual position of “I write, say, share what I share because I care.” (And because we all know I can’t help myself.) Thanks for staying on this journey with me, and putting up with the things I ponder.
Autism News You Can Use, the YouTube program I launched a few months ago in conjunction with Flaws Are The New Black, now has its own channel. This is bad, because all of you who subscribed to Flaws will no longer get to see it, but good because you can subscribe to it separately and you should!
I was telling someone recently why I launched Autism News You Can Use and honestly, it’s not just because of my son or to help my son. It’s because I never want another parent to spend as many hours (hundreds of hours!) as I have on the Internet researching how to help their kid. Getting online, Googling forever, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have been blessed to have the time to Google and Google and Google some more, and to find some really great needles in the endless haystacks of information. But other parents don’t have that time and they need all the resources they can get. I started Autism News You Can Use in order to share what I’ve found – and continue to find – in an effort to make other parents’ lives easier.
If you know someone who can benefit from the resources available on Autism News You Can Use, I hope you’ll share the link above with them.
Like every other kid on the planet, I wanted my driver’s license. It didn’t matter that I was an absolutely terrible driver, the kind that clips corners, hits curbs, and knocks down street signs when making a right, and who has an uncanny ability to make a left onto a divided highway, end up on the wrong side of the road, and come face to face with oncoming traffic. None of it mattered. Not nervousness, nearsightedness, or my abysmal lack of skill was going to deter me. I wanted my license. And somehow I got it. Can you imagine how petrified my parents were?
When my eldest reached driving age however, it was a different story. He couldn’t navigate the high school driving class and I was too busy caring for my husband to call and demand accommodations. And since all my son has ever wanted is to fit in, he was happy I wasn’t on the phone or in the school office making a scene. Instead he dropped the class and we decided to wait until after his dad passed to deal with it.
It’s funny, when Casey was diagnosed we were told he’d never drive. And yet he was driving the farm truck with almost no instruction. He had incredible focus and never drove fast. If anything he drove too slowly and hey, what parent doesn’t pray for that?
When it finally came time to find him a driving school, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I called school after school and none were equipped to teach an ASD student. One man even said “Oh no, ma’am, we can’t be responsible for that!” My son is not a “that.” He’s a human being who deserves to learn to drive and pass that damn test no matter how long it takes him.
By some miracle we were contacted by the Department of Rehabilitative Services and Case was given the chance to learn to drive at the Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Center in Fishersville. And we thought we lived in the boonies. This place is no place. And it looks like a psych ward. Case was not happy. I pretended to be happy. Case refused to go. I dragged him there.
He stayed just long enough to get the basics. Then he escaped and showed up at the front door. I said, “How’d you get here?” And he pointed to his friend and replied, “He drove me.” Oh really? I then informed the friend that he would be finishing my kid’s training and getting him to pass the written test. Yes, I paid him, but I wanted to shoot them both.
Since you’ve probably seen my son in town, delivering pizza, you know he passed. What you don’t know is he passed the first time. He still drives a little slowly but he’s never turned into oncoming traffic like his mom has. Recently. Yeah, let’s not get into that.
So what’s the moral of the story?
One, young adults with ASD, don’t despair and parents, don’t give up hope. There are driving schools popping up all over the country that specialize in teaching kids with ALL KINDS of special needs.
Two, if you live in Virginia, Woodrow really does have a great driving program (despite it’s being ugly), staffed by talented, patient professionals, and it’s not your only option. There are other resources available to you. Yes, there are. I found them. Too late for Case but just in time for you.
And three, don’t believe everything the professionals tell you. Just believe in your kid.